KCU/04/Group 2

Topic 24: Past still haunts us?

Question: In light of the discussion in chapter nineteen of How People Grow, what role do you think the past plays in our growth & how should we deal with our past? For instance, some people would argue that we can just forget the past & leave it entirely behind us. Others think that we can never escape our past & it will forever haunt us. What do you think? (Be sure to do more research into the issue. If the group cannot come to a consensus, feel free to have different group members each express their own opinions.)

The Past: A Fright or Friend

The past; a former period in someone’s life kept secret or thought to be shameful; beyond the power, scope, extend, or influence. It is the material that creates the tapestry of life; the behind the scenes of the movie of life. The past are the memories that are fond or not, that make us who we are. The major component of the past is the dilemma that has been fought over forever; nature versus nurture. Nature is the genetics that we inherit from our parents or family members. Nurture involves the experiences that come along the way while growing up. It takes both nature and nurture to compel us to be the way we are. It takes genetics from the family added to the experiences along the way that make us who we are. Many scientists throughout the ages have disagreed on this issue. Sigmund Freud believed that it is nature that makes us who we truly are. Erik Erikson believes that it is the environment around us that makes us who we are. Regardless of which is true, both are involved with the past.

There are many different ways that people can view the past, however there are two that are most common. The first is the view that the past is a hurtle that can never be jumped; a wall that forever blocks the path toward the present and future. Many believe that the past is something that can not be overcome or forgotten and that it haunts forever. This is a bleak and dismal out look on life and growth that often is connected with fate; the idea that man can never escape what is to happen and then once it has happened one can not erase it from the memory, it will live on. The second view is that the past is just another life obstacle to overcome; the past is something that can be forgotten and move away from. This is the more optimistic outlook of the two views and suggests that man can escape from the horrors that have been and will come again. Many tend to believe in the latter outlook compared to the first because of such optimism and because many hope that they can overcome their trials and not forget them but learn from them. One such as Ralph Waldo Emerson says to, “be not a slave of your own past” (Frank).

There is legitimacy to both views of the past; however, there are also imperfections. The truth is that the past is apart of man forever; it never detaches from the mind, body, and soul. It lives on just as man lives on, interwoven into the tapestry of life. However, there is the possibility to overcome the past and move toward the present and future. The only way to move forward is with the help of God and only with His help is man able to grow from experience and prosper. “For what is the present after all,” asks Walt Whitman, “but growth from the past” (Frank).

Since the fact has been distinguished that one can overcome the past and move on toward the present and future the question arises as to how. How can man overcome his past and grow from his experiences without forgetting it, “for those who can not remember the past are condemned to repeat it” (Frank). So how can overcome the past and learn from it without forgetting the lessons.

There are several measures that must be taken to ensure that the past has been conquered but not forgotten. The first measure is a realization that, “time is a necessary ingredient of growth,” (Cloud). Growth takes time and with time comes patience. “Just as turning a boat around in water takes time, so does turning our soul around. It involves trials, risks, and failures…and generally speaking, the worse the issue, the longer the time required to resolve,” (Cloud). Once it is understood that overcoming the past is going to take time it is easier to start the process and to slowly start facing the pain of the past.

The second measure that must be taken is extensive prayer. Prayer itself is defined as communion with God. In other words, prayer is sharing thoughts and emotions with the Creator in an intimate way. To conquer the past, one must have constant communion with God and a constant call on His infinite assistance, love and care. Only when we pray and we share our thoughts, feelings, and troubles with the Almighty, will He help us and make it better.

The last measure that must be taken is to find a place of acceptance and forgiveness. Upon looking back on the past, one must come to a place of understanding that he can not change the past nor can he fully understand it. There may have been things in his life that he might not have understood why or how they happen but at the same point in his growth process, one must realize that he can not change what has happened. Accepting is not easy, but it must be done in order to move away from the past and to heal. After accepting, one must also forgive. One must forgive the past and those in it. This can be for any number of situations; a bad relationship, abuse, murder, or other mistakes one has made or any injustices done to him. Forgiveness is the hardest step in the growth process. It is the one that takes the most time, energy, and prayer. To truly forgive someone it takes a serious evaluation of oneself and where one wants to go in one’s life. After discovering where one wants to go, one can look at the past at see how he wants to deal with it. Only after finding this place of acceptance and forgiveness can one truly begin to grow and escape the pain of the past. So some ask if the past haunts us. I believe that it doesn't haunt us, but helps us. Without the past we would never learn from our mistakes and would be lost. So thanks to the past we can continue in the right direction.

Works Cited

Cloud, Dr. Henry. Townsend, Dr. John. How People Grow. Michigan: Zondervan, 2001. 348-358.

Frank, Leonard Roy. Quotationary. New York: Random House, 2001.

Billy Avery, Rheumond Bush, Julie Lawson, Michael Tussey