Talk:KCU/03/Lady Knights
Instructor Feedback on First Draft
Update & revised comment: While most of what I said below is true, some of the formatting problems did obscure some of your contributions. This group has won the prize of having done the most work of all the groups in this section. I remember saying last time that you would receive a bonus for that. Please remind me if I forget when I put in the grades at the end of the semester. Your final draft grade (from the instructor) will receive a 5 point bonus on top of the grade I assign you.
As a first draft, this contribution falls short. Even though you have a lot of information & sources (good job on that!), the work has not been organized & revised into a clear, readable form. If this were submitted for the final draft, it would pass with around a C grade. On the other hand, you have done some very good work gathering dialog partners & in taking notes on those resources.
Things to work on:
1. Organize your information by writing your own explanatory & summarizing paragraphs & incorporating your dialog partners into your own writing
2. Expand your treatment of all biblical passages that shed light on the issue of the Trinity--organize & streamline the discussion at the same time
3. Make clearer while interacting with your dialog partners how you would evaluate their views & arguments. For instance, Pack gives a lot of disputable claims & has a view that is not very compatible with most of the rest of what you write & what you found in other dialog partners. You will need to bring in a counter-weight to Pack if you believe that his claims are misleading.
4. Improve the formatting--see the Editing help link at the bottom of the editing page for instructions. I cleaned up the most problematic long horizontal lines for you. Basically, starting a new line after each sentence helps keep the formatting cleaner in a wiki, if you have copied & pasted in from elsewhere.
Here's some other web resources that might be helpful:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TopicIndex/117/
http://www.christianity.co.nz/trinity.htm
http://www.htb.org.uk/audio/trinity-why-it-matters-graham-tomlin